Are You Stoic Or Just Emotionally Unavailable?

When "good vibes only" becomes an excuse to avoid real life.

Issue #37:

Good day and welcome back to The Zen Journal. Today our reflection is centered around the concept of toxic positivity.

---

Have you ever met someone so “spiritually evolved” they've basically checked out of life?

You know them. They're the ones who respond to every crisis with a dreamy smile and something about “trusting the universe”. When your relationship is falling apart, they tell you to “raise your vibration”. When you're facing injustice at work, they suggest you “manifest better energy”. When the world is literally on fire, they're posting sunset meditation photos with #blessed.

Here's the uncomfortable truth: This isn't enlightenment. It's emotional cowardice dressed up in spiritual language.

We're living through what might be the biggest spiritual scam of our time. Ancient wisdom traditions that took lifetimes to master have been shrunk down into bite-sized Instagram quotes. The profound concept of non-attachment has been twisted into “not my problem”.

The art of letting go has become the art of giving up.

But here's what's really happening. People are using spirituality as the ultimate get-out-of-life-free card.

Can't handle difficult emotions? Call it “staying in high vibes”.
Don't want to deal with conflict? Label it “protecting your energy”.
Avoiding responsibility? Claim you're “going with the flow”.

The result? A generation of spiritual tourists who think enlightenment means never having to say “this is hard” or “I care deeply about this”.

Plot twist, the spiritual masters everyone seems to quote would be horrified by the current interpretations that people are taking on.

When Lao Tzu wrote about wu wei (non-action), he wasn't advocating for becoming a human doormat. He was describing the art of right action. Moving with precision and purpose, like water that seems gentle but can carve through mountains.

The Buddha didn't teach people to become emotionless zombies. He taught the middle way between being overwhelmed by feelings and pretending they don't exist.

Krishna didn't float serenely above human suffering. He wept, he raged against injustice, he felt everything. And then he acted with love and compassion.

The pattern is clear. True spiritual practice doesn't numb you to life. It gives you the courage to feel it all more deeply.

Here's what researchers have discovered about human thriving:

Meaning comes from engagement, not avoidance. The people who report the highest life satisfaction aren't those who've eliminated all problems. They're the ones who've learned to dance with difficulty.

Resilience grows through facing challenges head-on. Your psychological muscles get stronger when you use them, not when you avoid anything that might strain them.

The happiest people feel more, not less. Studies consistently show that people with rich emotional lives (including negative emotions) report greater overall well-being than those who try to stay perpetually positive.

Even your brain agrees. Mindfulness practices don't make you less sensitive to life – they make you more sensitive while giving you better tools to handle the intensity.

Here's my radical proposal. What if the most spiritual thing you could do right now is to care fiercely about something?

What if enlightenment isn't about rising above human experience but diving deeper into it?

What if the path to peace runs straight through the messy middle of actually giving a damn?

This is where real spiritual practice gets interesting, and difficult. Anyone can check out and call it wisdom. But it takes genuine courage to feel your anger at injustice and transform it into sustained action rather than just venting online or pretending to be above it all.

It means having the hard conversations instead of ghosting people when things get complicated, setting boundaries without guilt while respecting others' boundaries without resentment.

Real practice involves grieving your losses fully instead of rushing to find the “lesson”, celebrating your joys without apology in a world that often feels dark, and showing up consistently for the people and causes that matter to you even when it's inconvenient or uncomfortable.

This might seem paradoxical, but sometimes the most spiritual response is to be completely and utterly ‘un-chill’.

To let your heart break open at the world's pain. To stand up and say “this is not okay” when others stay silent. To admit you don't have all the answers. To try, fail, and try again without pretending it's all part of some cosmic plan.

The world has enough people floating above the mess, too evolved to get their hands dirty. What we desperately need are people who can wade into the chaos with open hearts, clear minds, and steady hands.

That's the kind of spirituality worth practicing. Not the kind that looks good on social media, but the kind that actually changes how you show up when life gets real.

Because at the end of the day, the most profound spiritual question isn't “how can I stay detached from all this?”

It's “how can I love deeply enough to stay engaged with all of this?”

That's the practice that will transform you. And possibly the world around you.

I look forward to continuing this journey with you. Please feel free to share your thoughts, reflections, or questions as I dive deeper into these teachings.

---