This resonates so much! Thank you. There can be a lot of vanity hidden in humility, this is such a complex intrication of layers upon layers. It reminds me of that quote from Socrates to one of his students: « Why, o Antisthenes, art thou so ostentatious; through they rags I discover they vanity. »
But was Socrates completely humble knowing he probably teased his poor student in front of others (since the quote has survived millennia)? Was he being a teacher or a smart ass?
And… Am I trying to show off right now? It feels like vanity has no bottom!😅
This begs the question: am I having vanity in my humility? How do I answer that? So if I look forward to anybody liking my posts, is that vanity? Why can’t I look forward to that? Isn’t it validity that my posts are worth posting for others? If it were meant for me, why post at all? And if the intention to post is so it helps others, what is wrong in looking forward to whether it mattered to others or not? What am I missing here?
Thank you for engaging with my post. That's a great question!
The line between humility and vanity can definitely be a tricky one to navigate, especially when it comes to how we engage with others.
The focus above is more on how the desire for external validation or recognition can sometimes lead to hidden vanity, even when our intentions seem pure. Humility is about being grounded and understanding that our contributions aren't for the sake of praise or acknowledgement but rather for the value they bring to others, regardless of how they're received.
Now, looking forward to someone liking your posts isn't necessarily vanity, it's a natural human desire to be seen and appreciated. It becomes problematic when that desire overrides the content itself or when it dictates how we create. If we create solely for validation, we might lose the authenticity of the message. But there's nothing wrong with hoping your posts are impactful, especially if your intention is to help or inspire others.
In fact, the idea of 'validity' that you bring up is important. If you believe your posts have value and might resonate with others, sharing them is part of contributing to the wider conversation. The key is to maintain a sense of detachment from how those posts are received. The hope is that your posts can help others, but at the same time, you don't let your sense of worth be defined solely by likes or feedback.
I guess the balance comes from being mindful of the intention behind your actions, create because you believe in what you're sharing, not because you expect validation. And if others find value in it, that's a beautiful bonus.
What do you think? I'd love to know your perspective.
You have articulated well. It’s the intention behind the actions that matters. As long as the intention remains to bring value to the table, it’s alright, but when it steps beyond that and wanders into vanity, or trying to please ego, by showing off even if it is in the name of humility, you have lost yourself to vanity. Am I correct? Have I missed anything you aimed to teach me?
Posting itself is not a problem. The issue arises when one feels happy if the post is praised, angry if it is criticized, or disappointed when no one reads it—that’s a warning sign of vanity, which can lead to self-inflicted suffering.
Hmmm. That’s a nice way of putting it. I understand happy when appreciated. Don’t we all feel that? We can’t really separate ourselves from that, can we? We are not Buddha to do that. But still this is hard for me to grasp. Where do we draw the line between vanity and our need for appreciation. I did seem to understand what the author said. But now it’s a little hazy again.
Because ordinary people all have self-attachment, the division begins the moment motivation arises. If the intention is truly just to share with everyone for their benefit, then actually, if everyone likes it, you’d feel happy too. This is honestly quite difficult, mainly because my own ignorance is too strong, and it’s easy to get caught up in attachment and afflictions.
I think I understand that now a little bit better. What you are saying is that while we can all start with good intentions, it’s easy to get carried away when the praise starts pouring in so that you start doing what you do not because you want to continue educating the masses but now vanity sets in and you start doing it for achieving more praises. Am I right?
It’s indeed not easy to walk this path. First, there’s no foundation; second, the secular world is chaotic and distracting, making it hard to discern. So, take it slowly, starting with continuously accumulating good roots and merits.
Thank you Nia. This is going to probably take me on another ride if I choose to indulge in it to know the truth. Let’s see. I really appreciate you staying with me and trying to make me see what you see
I greatly admire and rejoice in the fact that you still have such reflections in this chaotic era, and I also thank @The urban monk for the karmic connection of your writing, haha.🙏🌷
Hmm, it can be understood this way. Fundamentally, it’s because of our innate self-attachment that we inevitably encounter afflictions when conditions arise. To completely counteract and eliminate it, one needs to realize no-self.
To an ordinary person, it is indeed impossible. From a Buddhist perspective, even we ourselves struggle to overcome vanity. In Buddhism, there is a concept called “pride of views” (dṛṣṭi-māna), which refers to a kind of arrogance that easily arises in teachers who expound the Dharma. Yet, in the practice of Buddhism, this must be overcome. We engage in rigorous study and long-term training to cultivate ourselves, and reaching the state of no-self is no easy feat.
Sounds interesting Neo. The teachings are there, I agree, but how much of the teachings are being followed rigorously? And by how many? How long is long term study?
This resonates so much! Thank you. There can be a lot of vanity hidden in humility, this is such a complex intrication of layers upon layers. It reminds me of that quote from Socrates to one of his students: « Why, o Antisthenes, art thou so ostentatious; through they rags I discover they vanity. »
But was Socrates completely humble knowing he probably teased his poor student in front of others (since the quote has survived millennia)? Was he being a teacher or a smart ass?
And… Am I trying to show off right now? It feels like vanity has no bottom!😅
Very resonant. Human ego will seize opportunities to manifest in different ways, while true humility is selfless, which is extremely rare!
This begs the question: am I having vanity in my humility? How do I answer that? So if I look forward to anybody liking my posts, is that vanity? Why can’t I look forward to that? Isn’t it validity that my posts are worth posting for others? If it were meant for me, why post at all? And if the intention to post is so it helps others, what is wrong in looking forward to whether it mattered to others or not? What am I missing here?
Thank you for engaging with my post. That's a great question!
The line between humility and vanity can definitely be a tricky one to navigate, especially when it comes to how we engage with others.
The focus above is more on how the desire for external validation or recognition can sometimes lead to hidden vanity, even when our intentions seem pure. Humility is about being grounded and understanding that our contributions aren't for the sake of praise or acknowledgement but rather for the value they bring to others, regardless of how they're received.
Now, looking forward to someone liking your posts isn't necessarily vanity, it's a natural human desire to be seen and appreciated. It becomes problematic when that desire overrides the content itself or when it dictates how we create. If we create solely for validation, we might lose the authenticity of the message. But there's nothing wrong with hoping your posts are impactful, especially if your intention is to help or inspire others.
In fact, the idea of 'validity' that you bring up is important. If you believe your posts have value and might resonate with others, sharing them is part of contributing to the wider conversation. The key is to maintain a sense of detachment from how those posts are received. The hope is that your posts can help others, but at the same time, you don't let your sense of worth be defined solely by likes or feedback.
I guess the balance comes from being mindful of the intention behind your actions, create because you believe in what you're sharing, not because you expect validation. And if others find value in it, that's a beautiful bonus.
What do you think? I'd love to know your perspective.
You have articulated well. It’s the intention behind the actions that matters. As long as the intention remains to bring value to the table, it’s alright, but when it steps beyond that and wanders into vanity, or trying to please ego, by showing off even if it is in the name of humility, you have lost yourself to vanity. Am I correct? Have I missed anything you aimed to teach me?
Posting itself is not a problem. The issue arises when one feels happy if the post is praised, angry if it is criticized, or disappointed when no one reads it—that’s a warning sign of vanity, which can lead to self-inflicted suffering.
Hmmm. That’s a nice way of putting it. I understand happy when appreciated. Don’t we all feel that? We can’t really separate ourselves from that, can we? We are not Buddha to do that. But still this is hard for me to grasp. Where do we draw the line between vanity and our need for appreciation. I did seem to understand what the author said. But now it’s a little hazy again.
Because ordinary people all have self-attachment, the division begins the moment motivation arises. If the intention is truly just to share with everyone for their benefit, then actually, if everyone likes it, you’d feel happy too. This is honestly quite difficult, mainly because my own ignorance is too strong, and it’s easy to get caught up in attachment and afflictions.
I think I understand that now a little bit better. What you are saying is that while we can all start with good intentions, it’s easy to get carried away when the praise starts pouring in so that you start doing what you do not because you want to continue educating the masses but now vanity sets in and you start doing it for achieving more praises. Am I right?
Haha🤭🫶
It’s indeed not easy to walk this path. First, there’s no foundation; second, the secular world is chaotic and distracting, making it hard to discern. So, take it slowly, starting with continuously accumulating good roots and merits.
Thank you Nia. This is going to probably take me on another ride if I choose to indulge in it to know the truth. Let’s see. I really appreciate you staying with me and trying to make me see what you see
I greatly admire and rejoice in the fact that you still have such reflections in this chaotic era, and I also thank @The urban monk for the karmic connection of your writing, haha.🙏🌷
Yeah he got long forgotten! 🤪 thanks for the reminder. Thank you @The Urban Monk
Hmm, it can be understood this way. Fundamentally, it’s because of our innate self-attachment that we inevitably encounter afflictions when conditions arise. To completely counteract and eliminate it, one needs to realize no-self.
How do we do that? That sounds impossible. How can we say no to ourself?
To an ordinary person, it is indeed impossible. From a Buddhist perspective, even we ourselves struggle to overcome vanity. In Buddhism, there is a concept called “pride of views” (dṛṣṭi-māna), which refers to a kind of arrogance that easily arises in teachers who expound the Dharma. Yet, in the practice of Buddhism, this must be overcome. We engage in rigorous study and long-term training to cultivate ourselves, and reaching the state of no-self is no easy feat.
Sounds interesting Neo. The teachings are there, I agree, but how much of the teachings are being followed rigorously? And by how many? How long is long term study?
Hello, thank you so much for your kind words! I would be honored to grow and learn together as we explore our journeys.