Drop the rock. Well summarized. There is no suffering without fear - the moment we step into freedom is when we put down this rock (our ego) and suffering no longer exists.
I love your “drop the rock” analogy. I can remember the moment when I finally saw clearly the rock I was carrying—and how I didn’t *have* to carry it. So I let go. Which brought the greatest peace I’ve ever known. I am always trying to be aware of new rocks now. Am I carrying something I don’t have to?
I’m curious how you will respond to Jane’s excellent question about guilt. My own intuition and learning tell me it has a lot to do with cultivating self-compassion. And also understanding karma, and the transitory nature of all phenomena: all events arise due to a unique juxtaposition of circumstances. We act according to our own current learning and awareness in that moment. There is a quote from Oprah, which I can only paraphrase: “When you know better, you will do better.”
We are not in the same place now that we were then. Awareness of this helps us let go, and transform toxic guilt into healing remorse, because we understand we did the best we could with the tools and understanding we had at the time. We could not do better then. But we can now.
Thank you so much for this beautiful reflection, Heather.
You've explained it wonderfully here. Toxic guilt tends to paralyze us. It keeps us locked in an identity from the past, repeating the same painful mental loop. But healing remorse, grounded in awareness and self-compassion, becomes a seed for transformation. It allows us to acknowledge harm without being consumed by it. It moves us from punishment to growth.
I hope you see this @Jane Campbell. It's a much better response than what I have written.
“It allows us to acknowledge harm without being consumed by it.” So well said. I am grateful for your writing here and sharing all these teachings—thank you.
Thank you for your honest and heartfelt question, Jane.
Guilt, especially over something long past, can be one of the heaviest "rocks" we carry.
Guilt is a form of clinging. Not necessarily clinging to the past event itself, but to the identity it created in us and to the belief that we must keep suffering as a form of penance for our mistakes.
But we aren't asked to deny responsibility or ignore the pain we’ve caused. But to simply see clearly. To acknowledge our past with honesty, and then to examine how we relate to it now.
Are we holding on to guilt because we think we should be punished forever? Are we afraid that letting go of guilt would mean we’re letting ourselves off too easily?
These are forms of craving too. Craving for a different past, craving for a fixed identity, craving for moral purity. And they lead to suffering.
The path forward is not in forgetting or excusing, but in forgiving. Not just others, but also ourselves.
You’ve already taken a profound step by naming your guilt. The next step might be to ask if it is still serving you or is it keeping you stuck?
Thank you so much. Your words are very helpful. For so long I haven’t even talked to anyone about the guilt I carry because I’m ashamed to bring the old topic back up. Your words are very freeing and I appreciate them very much
I'm glad to be of help, Jane. That makes total sense. And I guess talking to internet strangers about it might help out as it can be completely anonymous.
If you have any other questions that you think I may have answers to, don't hesitate to DM me :)
Your post and analogy really made me smile. What do you mean drop it? It’s MY rock! I can’t possibly stop holding it. I might die. All of these people are depending on me carrying it. This rock needs me.
And the longer you carry the rock, the more you're attached to it. To the point where you may even feel offended when someone else tells you to put it down, because what do they know?
I'm glad it resonated with you. Thank you for reading :)
What we crave crushes us.
But only if we let it.
When we can see it simply as a sensation, it's easier to let it go.
Indeed, Jimothy. Couldn't have said it better.
Drop the rock. Well summarized. There is no suffering without fear - the moment we step into freedom is when we put down this rock (our ego) and suffering no longer exists.
Indeed, it's a lifelong lesson. Thank you Grace for reading and engaging :)
I love your “drop the rock” analogy. I can remember the moment when I finally saw clearly the rock I was carrying—and how I didn’t *have* to carry it. So I let go. Which brought the greatest peace I’ve ever known. I am always trying to be aware of new rocks now. Am I carrying something I don’t have to?
I’m curious how you will respond to Jane’s excellent question about guilt. My own intuition and learning tell me it has a lot to do with cultivating self-compassion. And also understanding karma, and the transitory nature of all phenomena: all events arise due to a unique juxtaposition of circumstances. We act according to our own current learning and awareness in that moment. There is a quote from Oprah, which I can only paraphrase: “When you know better, you will do better.”
We are not in the same place now that we were then. Awareness of this helps us let go, and transform toxic guilt into healing remorse, because we understand we did the best we could with the tools and understanding we had at the time. We could not do better then. But we can now.
Thank you so much for this beautiful reflection, Heather.
You've explained it wonderfully here. Toxic guilt tends to paralyze us. It keeps us locked in an identity from the past, repeating the same painful mental loop. But healing remorse, grounded in awareness and self-compassion, becomes a seed for transformation. It allows us to acknowledge harm without being consumed by it. It moves us from punishment to growth.
I hope you see this @Jane Campbell. It's a much better response than what I have written.
“It allows us to acknowledge harm without being consumed by it.” So well said. I am grateful for your writing here and sharing all these teachings—thank you.
Heather, thank you so much. Your words are also very helpful
How does guilt fit in to this teaching? I am nearly 64 but lately I’m almost consumed by guilt for a horrible mistake I made 40 years ago
Thank you for your honest and heartfelt question, Jane.
Guilt, especially over something long past, can be one of the heaviest "rocks" we carry.
Guilt is a form of clinging. Not necessarily clinging to the past event itself, but to the identity it created in us and to the belief that we must keep suffering as a form of penance for our mistakes.
But we aren't asked to deny responsibility or ignore the pain we’ve caused. But to simply see clearly. To acknowledge our past with honesty, and then to examine how we relate to it now.
Are we holding on to guilt because we think we should be punished forever? Are we afraid that letting go of guilt would mean we’re letting ourselves off too easily?
These are forms of craving too. Craving for a different past, craving for a fixed identity, craving for moral purity. And they lead to suffering.
The path forward is not in forgetting or excusing, but in forgiving. Not just others, but also ourselves.
You’ve already taken a profound step by naming your guilt. The next step might be to ask if it is still serving you or is it keeping you stuck?
Thank you so much. Your words are very helpful. For so long I haven’t even talked to anyone about the guilt I carry because I’m ashamed to bring the old topic back up. Your words are very freeing and I appreciate them very much
I'm glad to be of help, Jane. That makes total sense. And I guess talking to internet strangers about it might help out as it can be completely anonymous.
If you have any other questions that you think I may have answers to, don't hesitate to DM me :)
Your post and analogy really made me smile. What do you mean drop it? It’s MY rock! I can’t possibly stop holding it. I might die. All of these people are depending on me carrying it. This rock needs me.
And the longer you carry the rock, the more you're attached to it. To the point where you may even feel offended when someone else tells you to put it down, because what do they know?
I'm glad it resonated with you. Thank you for reading :)
This sounds legit!
Thank you 🙏 and needed this today 💗
Thank you so much for reading and engaging. I'm happy the piece resonated with you :)
I adore your writing and really needed to "drop the rock" today. Thank you. THANK YOU.
Thank you Stephanie for the compliment. I'm happy the piece resonated with you :)
Don’t shoot the second arrow 🏹✨👌🏻😊
Beautiful piece speaking the Buddha’s wisdom 🙏🏻
Thank you so much Tamy for reading and engaging :)
My pleasure :)